Difficulty is optional

I was talking to a friend, who happened to be a seasoned psychotherapist, about something I've made super complicated in my head (Making things complicated when they're not is my special gift!), when she asked:

"Do you think it should be more difficult?"

This question stopped me in my tracks and it became so clear in that moment: "Yes, somewhere in there, I believed it should be difficult" and when things are easy, I inadvertently resist them by making it hard! 🤯

Have you had that experience of things going your way, but then a pesky thought sneaks in and offers a depressing take: "It can't be that easy" or "You're probably not doing it right" or "You must be missing something?" And there it is - imaginary problem is created and now the pushing and forcing and working hard begins. And just like that, a simple easy thing got really complicated in no time.

When struggling becomes a way of life 

As I reflected on where this belief originated and how it was cemented by some pivotal moments in my life, there it was, clear as a day - life actually was a struggle. Joyful and content childhood memories were scarce and each experience I recounted was colored by worry, instability, and difficulty. Life was about getting through and surviving, so it made sense why I carried that belief with me into adulthood. I was seeing things from the perspective of my younger self.

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But now that I've gotten here, I forgot to exit the struggle bus. Life isn't the same now. Not everything has to be difficult.

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Outgrowing the difficult way

Nobody tells us when it's time to drop the struggle. Nobody tells us that at some point, it no longer has to be hard. I mean, yes, life will give us a shit sandwich from time to time, but we don't have to create it out of thin air. My struggle was self-created, meaningless, and unnecessary. And the ease I experienced was guiding me and showing me I'm on the right path. The ease is not to be resisted, but to be followed. We don't have to make things hard. We can outgrow the difficult way and choose the way of ease.

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Reflect: where in your life might you be doing things the hard way or making things unnecessarily difficult? Is it a meaningful or a meaningless struggle? What if it's easier than what you believe? How would it feel to drop the struggle?