Making Sense of and Moving Through Emotional Triggers

We’ve all had moments where a comment, a situation, or even a fleeting thought suddenly stirs up a wave of emotion. You may notice anxiety, anger, shame, or overwhelm coming over you without fully understanding why. This is what we often refer to as being triggered.

A trigger is anything that activates a strong emotional response, often linked to past experiences, unprocessed emotions, or deeply ingrained patterns of thinking.

While triggers can feel intense and automatic, they also present an opportunity for deeper self-awareness and healing instead of reactivity and disconnection.

Here are some general tools to be more intentional and less reactive when feeling triggered. These guiding questions can help you slow down, explore what’s happening, and mindfully move through emotional triggers with more understanding and choice.

Pause & Notice

Rather than reacting immediately, try to bring awareness to what’s unfolding inside you. Ask yourself:

    •    What do I notice in my body right now? (Tension, heat, numbness, tightness in the chest, etc.)

    •    What emotions are present? (Fear, frustration, sadness, shame?)

    •    What thoughts or memories are surfacing?

    •    Can I slow down and just observe this feeling without judgment?

Identify the Pattern

Sometimes, triggers feel overwhelming because they’re connected to past experiences or beliefs we’ve carried for a long time. Exploring these connections can offer clarity. Consider:

    •    Does this reaction feel familiar? When have I felt this way before?

    •    What story is my mind telling about this situation? (For example, “I’m being rejected” or “I’m not safe.”)

    •    If this feeling had a message for me, what would it be trying to say?

Shift From Reaction to Choice

While we can’t always control when we feel triggered, we can choose how we respond. Try asking:

    •    What do I need right now to feel more grounded? (Breathing, movement, stepping away?)

    •    How do I want to respond to this in a way that aligns with my values?

    •    Can I offer myself kindness instead of judgment in this moment?

Connect to the Deeper Need

Often, triggers point to an unmet need—whether for safety, validation, connection, or self-expression. Exploring this with gentleness can be powerful:

    •    What is this reaction showing me about what I need?

    •    Is there a younger part of me that learned to react this way to stay safe?

    •    What would it be like to give myself what I needed in that moment?

Moving Forward

Emotional triggers don’t have to control us. By pausing, noticing, and engaging with curiosity, we can begin to change our relationship with them and practice responding intentionally. The more we practice, the more space we create between the trigger and our response—allowing us to move through emotional waves with more ease and self-compassion.

The next time you feel triggered, try using these questions as a guide. You might be surprised at what you learn about yourself.