Letting go of expectations & entitlement
THE UNIVERSE DOESN’T OWE US ANYTHING!
We all have expectations and secret agendas of what we believe should be happening for us. From what we think our morning coffee should taste like (come on, burnt pot!) to how we imagine that big date going down (cue butterflies and fireworks). But here's the thing: expectations can be sneaky little buggers. Sometimes, they set us up for a major disappointment when reality doesn't quite match our perfectly crafted mental picture. We've all been there.
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The clash between what we expected and what actually happens can leave us feeling frustrated, defeated, self-righteous, and entitled.
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If “I deserve better!” and "Why me?" live rent free in your mind, get curious about expectations you have of yourself, people, and the world around you! We all have moments when our expectations blow up in our face. In fact, I had one recently. I was riding high on an anticipated perfect case scenario, until my expectations got shattered and I was left soaking in a puddle of disappointment.
But here's the kicker: it's not just disappointment. Sometimes, we get stuck in a loop of rejecting reality altogether. We think, "This shouldn't be happening! Things should be different!" This kind of resistance can actually make things worse. It's like trying to push through mud – the more you fight it, the deeper you sink.
And then it hit me...
I threw myself a pity party and partied hard until it came to me: "The universe doesn't owe you a damn thing." It would be wonderful if people and circumstances were meeting (or even better - exceeding!) my expectations, but they're certainly not obligated to. And if they don't, I can handle it. I will be ok even if I get disappointed.
Something in me knows
There is a sense of freedom that comes with the acceptance of not being in control of so many things. I like to believe that my soul knows what lessons it wants to learn and what experiences it wants to have. And that perspective brings me relief. It creates a sense of ease in me because a lot of what’s coming towards me is out of my hands. My job is to face it and release the self-created expectation that anything other than what IS happening should be happening.
So, what can we do to break free from this expectation vs. reality smackdown?
Here are a few suggestions:
Reality Check: Take a step back and ask yourself: "What are my expectations? Are they realistic?" Maybe that promotion you deserve won't happen overnight, or perhaps that dream vacation requires a bit more saving.
Practice Flexibility: Life throws curveballs. Instead of getting rigid and fighting with reality, learn to adapt and roll with the punches. Who knows, that rainy getaway could turn into a cozy night of board games and cuddles (not so bad, right?).
Focus on the Now: Dwelling on past or future disappointments only steals our joy. Instead, be present and appreciate the good things happening right here, right now. Check in with yourself about what is real and true right now.
Remember, expectations can be a great motivator and can provide direction for our goals, but they shouldn't become our ruler for happiness. By letting go of what "should" be and embracing what actually "is," we can find peace and maybe even discover some unexpected joys along the way.