It feels good, in the short term, to get that nod of approval, a “thank you” for your efforts, or avoiding upsetting someone. But here’s the catch: people pleasing isn’t as harmless as it seems. It’s often rooted in fear—fear of rejection, conflict, or simply not being liked. While being considerate is one thing, putting others first all the time can leave you feeling drained, unheard, and resentful.

When was the last time you decided to try something for the first time, something you’ve never done before? What is the internal narrative that follows your desire - is it supportive and encouraging, or does something in you decides you shouldn’t even try, because “what’s the point?” If you notice that discouraging voice leading the show most of the time, you might be experiencing learned helplessness.

We all have expectations and secret agendas of what we believe should be happening for us. From what we think our morning coffee should taste like (come on, burnt pot!) to how we imagine that big date going down (cue butterflies and fireworks). But here's the thing: expectations can be sneaky little buggers. Sometimes, they set us up for a major disappointment when reality doesn't quite match our perfectly crafted mental picture. We've all been there. The clash between what we expected and what actually happens can leave us feeling frustrated, defeated, self-righteous, and entitled.

Gap theory of happiness posits that our unhappiness stems from the discrepancy between our current reality and our idealized version of life. We're always looking outward, focusing on what we don't have: better jobs, more money, more recognition, or simply more free time. When our lives are consumed by this constant pursuit of "what could be," we operate from a place of lack and dissatisfaction.

When it comes to navigating life's challenges, our perspective plays a crucial role in how we experience and respond to them. One key aspect of this perspective is our locus of control – the extent to which we believe we have control over our own outcomes. This concept can be divided into two primary categories: internal and external locus of control.