Failure. It’s a heavy word, isn’t it? Most of us define it as not achieving the outcome we hoped for or expected. But we don’t stop there. Oh no. We often add an extra layer of meaning: "And that means I’m a failure." Suddenly, it’s not just about the thing that didn’t work out. It’s about you.

As we grow up we inherit a particular set of guidelines and frameworks for life—many of which shape how we view ourselves, others, and the world around us. These frameworks come from those we grew up with, shaped by their own beliefs, experiences, and even the emotional and psychological readiness (or lack thereof) they brought to parenthood. Our sense of self is formed not only through their reflections and observations but also through the biases they inherited from their parents, influenced by historical, cultural, and personal contexts.

Therapy is a powerful tool, but it’s not magic. It’s a space to explore, understand, and practice new perspectives. The real magic happens when you take what you learn and bring it into your life. So, if you’re feeling stuck or wondering why change isn’t happening fast enough, know this: you’re doing it right. Growth takes time, and the small steps you take outside of therapy are the ones that lead to the biggest transformations.

When you think about your daily actions, how often do you find yourself labeling them as “good” or “bad”? Maybe you feel proud of going to the gym and call it “good,” or you regret eating that extra slice of pizza and call it “bad.” This black-and-white thinking is so common, yet it often leaves us feeling stuck, guilty, or even disconnected from the person we want to be. But what if we approached our behaviors differently? Instead of judging them as “good” or “bad,” we could ask ourselves: Is this behavior helpful?

Being important to yourself is not about turning into a selfish, grandiose prick and neglecting or devaluing others—it’s about valuing yourself enough to make space for your own needs. By recognizing your own self-worth, you’re better equipped to bring your best self to everything you do.

Back in the day, FOMO was a survival tool. If your tribe was doing something important—hunting, gathering, forming alliances—you had to be there to stay relevant and safe. Fast forward to now, and that instinct has morphed into feeling like you need to be at every event, trying every trend, or keeping up with every social circle. But guess what? Your brain hasn’t caught up with the fact that not attending Rachel’s bottomless mimosa brunch won’t lead to exile.

Complex or developmental trauma is a type of trauma that occurs over a prolonged period of time, often in childhood, and involves repeated exposure to harmful events. This can include physical, emotional, verbal or sexual abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence. These types of difficulties and neglectful experiences disrupt natural development and make us adapt to our environment by creating strategies for survival. In a sense, we learn who we need to be in order to survive in our families of origin.

It feels good, in the short term, to get that nod of approval, a “thank you” for your efforts, or avoiding upsetting someone. But here’s the catch: people pleasing isn’t as harmless as it seems. It’s often rooted in fear—fear of rejection, conflict, or simply not being liked. While being considerate is one thing, putting others first all the time can leave you feeling drained, unheard, and resentful.

Depth and insight-oriented therapy offers a powerful pathway to self-discovery, enabling clients to delve into the layers of their experiences, beliefs, and conditioning. This approach emphasizes overcoming the influences of our past—family dynamics, cultural expectations, and early life experiences—that subtly shape our behaviors and perceptions in the present moment.

We’re conditioned to believe that happiness and satisfaction are waiting for us in some future moment when things change in our favor. What if we don’t have to wait? What if anything we long to experience is available to us right now?!

Letting go of the struggle can feel like surrender, but it’s actually an empowered choice. It means we’re attuned to what’s right in front of us, taking the steps that feel grounded in clarity and aligned with our inner needs. It’s a way of honoring ourselves, of giving ourselves the space to breathe and feel at peace with where we are.

Worrying, especially when it’s repetitive and unresolved, can feel like we’re doing something productive. It feels like we’re keeping ourselves prepared, looking out for the worst, or being realistic. But here’s the truth: worry on its own doesn’t change anything. We can think through every worst-case scenario, but until we put our thoughts into action, nothing actually shifts in our world.

Intention is the invisible force that drives our actions. It's the energy, the feeling, the motivation, and the purpose behind what we do. When we act with positive intention, we infuse our actions with positive energy. This positive energy can manifest in countless ways, such as increased motivation, improved relationships, and greater overall well-being.

Journaling is for anyone, it’s easy to start, and you don’t need to have any special skills to get started. If you’re feeling resistance to journaling, it’s normal, but don’t decide ahead of time that you don’t like. Give it a try! Take these reflections as gentle reminders that there’s no perfect way to journal. Whether it’s through a gratitude list, freewriting, or even doodles, a journal is a space just for you—flexible, nonjudgmental, and supportive.

For most of us, discouraging ourselves and believing disempowering stories about who we are and what we’re capable of comes easier than building ourselves up! We swiftly talk ourselves out of following our heart’s desires and giving ourselves a chance at something new. We give too much power to the voice that says; “What’s the point?,” “Why bother?,” “It’s gonna take too long,” “You’re too old for that,” or “That’s a stupid idea.”

When was the last time you decided to try something for the first time, something you’ve never done before? What is the internal narrative that follows your desire - is it supportive and encouraging, or does something in you decides you shouldn’t even try, because “what’s the point?” If you notice that discouraging voice leading the show most of the time, you might be experiencing learned helplessness.

While TikTok and Instagram have opened up valuable conversations around mental health, they cannot replace the depth, structure, and safety that therapy offers. Mental health is complex, and it requires professional attention and individualized care. Relying on social media influencers for advice on issues as serious as trauma, anxiety, or depression can be dangerous and ineffective in the long run.

Post-traumatic growth refers to the positive psychological changes that can occur in individuals who have experienced a traumatic event. It involves the development of new perspectives, increased appreciation for life, and a deeper sense of purpose and meaning. While not everyone who experiences trauma will experience post-traumatic growth, it's a testament to the human spirit's incredible capacity for resilience.

We all have expectations and secret agendas of what we believe should be happening for us. From what we think our morning coffee should taste like (come on, burnt pot!) to how we imagine that big date going down (cue butterflies and fireworks). But here's the thing: expectations can be sneaky little buggers. Sometimes, they set us up for a major disappointment when reality doesn't quite match our perfectly crafted mental picture. We've all been there. The clash between what we expected and what actually happens can leave us feeling frustrated, defeated, self-righteous, and entitled.

When it comes to navigating life's challenges, our perspective plays a crucial role in how we experience and respond to them. One key aspect of this perspective is our locus of control – the extent to which we believe we have control over our own outcomes. This concept can be divided into two primary categories: internal and external locus of control.