Do You Matter to Yourself? A reflection on Self-Worth
When was the last time you asked yourself, “Am I important to me?” This may sound like a simple, frivolous, or even surprising question, but it can reveal a great deal about your self-worth and the way you care for yourself. Reflecting on this can be deeply transformative—both in understanding where you are in life and in shaping where you want to go.
Why This Question Matters
We often celebrate selflessness and putting others first. We’re taught to care for our family, friends, coworkers, and community. While being there for others is meaningful and connecting, it can come at the expense of neglecting our own needs and well-being. Many people find that they prioritize everyone around them, often ignoring or delaying their own care. Over time, this can erode self-worth, leading to burnout, resentment, or a feeling of being “lost.”
Asking if you are important to yourself shines a light on this dynamic. It encourages you to reflect on the relationship you have with yourself and can reveal areas where self-care, self-acceptance, or self-acknowledgment might be lacking.
Here are a few reasons why asking this question can be life-changing:
• It Reinforces Self-Worth: Recognizing your own importance is an essential foundation for building self-worth. When you value yourself, you’re more likely to set healthy boundaries, make choices that honor your needs, and feel deserving of love and respect.
• It Empowers You to Make Healthier Choices: When you see yourself as valuable, it’s easier to make decisions that support your well-being. This might mean saying “no” to commitments that drain you, seeking out activities that bring you joy, or prioritizing your mental and physical health.
• It Improves Your Relationships: Interestingly, being important to yourself doesn’t mean being selfish. In fact, it allows you to show up better for others. When you feel secure, rested, and valued by yourself, you’re more present and authentic with those around you.
Reflecting on Your Answer
Once you’ve asked yourself if you’re important to yourself, take a moment to reflect on the answer. Whether you immediately think “yes,” “no,” or “I’m not sure,” your response can be a valuable guide for growth.
1. If the Answer Is “Yes”
If you feel confident that you are important to yourself, that’s something worth acknowledging! Self-importance doesn’t come naturally to everyone, so recognizing that you’ve cultivated this sense of worth is a powerful insight. Ask yourself:
• What practices or beliefs help me feel this way?
• How can I maintain and deepen my relationship with myself?
• Are there any areas where I could be even more supportive of myself?
This could mean setting aside regular time to check in with yourself, honoring your goals, or finding new ways to appreciate and care for who you are.
2. If the Answer Is “No” or “I’m Not Sure”
If your answer is closer to “no” or if you’re uncertain, that’s okay. Many people realize that they haven’t made themselves a priority—and that’s a discovery worth making. Often, simply recognizing this is the first step in shifting how you view and treat yourself.
To start bringing yourself into focus, consider these small steps:
• Practice Self-Awareness Daily: Spend just a few moments each day asking, What do I need today? It could be something simple, like a moment of rest, a healthy meal, or time to do something you enjoy. This practice of daily check-ins can strengthen your connection to yourself over time.
• Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Notice if you tend to downplay your own needs or dismiss your feelings as unimportant. Practice countering these thoughts by reminding yourself that you are just as deserving of care as anyone else.
• Make a List of Things That Make You Feel Valued: Think of people, places, or activities that help you feel valued and appreciated. Are there ways to add more of these into your life?
Building Self-Importance, Little by Little
Finding ways to make yourself important in your own life doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process of learning to show up for yourself, set boundaries, and make decisions that support your well-being. Over time, even small changes can lead to big shifts in how you see yourself and how you feel.
Being important to yourself is not about turning into a selfish, grandiose prick and neglecting or devaluing others—it’s about valuing yourself enough to make space for your own needs. By recognizing your own self-worth, you’re better equipped to bring your best self to everything you do.
What’s Next?
Taking to the time to reflect on this question is a meaningful act of self-care in itself. It builds self-awareness and it’s a reminder that you matter, just as much as anyone else. If you’d like, take a few moments to journal about your thoughts or keep asking yourself this question over time to see how your answer evolves.
And remember, where you are today is just one part of your journey toward self-worth, and every small step you take is one step closer to valuing yourself more fully.
If you want more personalized guidance in making yourself a priority, feel free to reach out for individual psychotherapy.