
INner Becoming Blog
You Failed, So What?!
Failure. It’s a heavy word, isn’t it? Most of us define it as not achieving the outcome we hoped for or expected. But we don’t stop there. Oh no. We often add an extra layer of meaning: "And that means I’m a failure." Suddenly, it’s not just about the thing that didn’t work out. It’s about you.
Advantages of Being a Late Bloomer
If you’ve ever felt like you’re running behind or that you’ve missed your chance, I’m here to tell you: you haven’t. Being a late bloomer means you’re doing things in your own time and in your own way. It’s a testament to your courage, your resilience, and your authenticity. Trust your timing. Celebrate the richness of your unique path. Life isn’t about meeting someone else’s expectations; it’s about discovering who you are and becoming the person you were always meant to be—on your own terms.
On Inherited Frameworks For Life
As we grow up we inherit a particular set of guidelines and frameworks for life—many of which shape how we view ourselves, others, and the world around us. These frameworks come from those we grew up with, shaped by their own beliefs, experiences, and even the emotional and psychological readiness (or lack thereof) they brought to parenthood. Our sense of self is formed not only through their reflections and observations but also through the biases they inherited from their parents, influenced by historical, cultural, and personal contexts.
Short-Term Relief, Long-Term Struggle: The Price of Avoiding Discomfort
Avoiding discomfort robs us of the opportunity to understand and grow through our struggles. Discomfort is a natural part of life. We all experience pain, fear, boredom, sadness, disappointment, frustration… These feelings are natural, but they’re also uncomfortable. Often, instead of allowing ourselves to truly feel and process them, we turn to quick fixes—short-term solutions to alleviate, bury, or avoid the discomfort in the moment.
Therapy Myths, Realities, And Why Change Happens Outside of The Sessions
Therapy is a powerful tool, but it’s not magic. It’s a space to explore, understand, and practice new perspectives. The real magic happens when you take what you learn and bring it into your life. So, if you’re feeling stuck or wondering why change isn’t happening fast enough, know this: you’re doing it right. Growth takes time, and the small steps you take outside of therapy are the ones that lead to the biggest transformations.
From Good vs. Bad to Helpful vs. Unhelpful: A Mindset Shift for Personal Growth
When you think about your daily actions, how often do you find yourself labeling them as “good” or “bad”? Maybe you feel proud of going to the gym and call it “good,” or you regret eating that extra slice of pizza and call it “bad.” This black-and-white thinking is so common, yet it often leaves us feeling stuck, guilty, or even disconnected from the person we want to be. But what if we approached our behaviors differently? Instead of judging them as “good” or “bad,” we could ask ourselves: Is this behavior helpful?
If You’re Not Cheerful, You’re Normal
Invitations to be grateful and spread holiday cheer are plentiful. We’re told that this season is all about connection, joy, giving thanks, and definitely giving gifts because do you even care unless you spend money?! But for so many, the holiday season is one not filled with connection, gratitude, and joy; rather, it’s a reminder of loneliness, lack of close connections, and unfulfilled desires. So, if you’re not feeling all warm, fuzzy, and jolly—welcome to living a full life. You are normal!
Do You Matter to Yourself? A reflection on Self-Worth
Being important to yourself is not about turning into a selfish, grandiose prick and neglecting or devaluing others—it’s about valuing yourself enough to make space for your own needs. By recognizing your own self-worth, you’re better equipped to bring your best self to everything you do.
Remove People From The Pedestal
Have you ever admired someone so much that you believed they had wisdom or power you could never access? When our self-esteem is shaky, it’s so easy to give our power away and put others on a pedestal. Relying too heavily on someone else for guidance can make you feel disempowered. Instead of feeling like the driver of your own life, you may find yourself waiting for their direction. This leads to a sense of passivity, helplessness, and difficulty making decisions without their input.
Defined by Labels: Beyond Diagnoses and Buzzwords
Labels can feel comforting. They give us a name for our experiences, helping us feel seen and understood. They can even foster community—after all, it’s easier to connect with others when we have shared language for what we’re going through. But here’s the catch: life isn’t as simple as the labels we use.
FOMO: What, Why, And How?
Back in the day, FOMO was a survival tool. If your tribe was doing something important—hunting, gathering, forming alliances—you had to be there to stay relevant and safe. Fast forward to now, and that instinct has morphed into feeling like you need to be at every event, trying every trend, or keeping up with every social circle. But guess what? Your brain hasn’t caught up with the fact that not attending Rachel’s bottomless mimosa brunch won’t lead to exile.
What is complex (developmental) trauma or CPTSD?
Complex or developmental trauma is a type of trauma that occurs over a prolonged period of time, often in childhood, and involves repeated exposure to harmful events. This can include physical, emotional, verbal or sexual abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence. These types of difficulties and neglectful experiences disrupt natural development and make us adapt to our environment by creating strategies for survival. In a sense, we learn who we need to be in order to survive in our families of origin.
The Art of Saying No: Stop People-Pleasing and Start Prioritizing Yourself
It feels good, in the short term, to get that nod of approval, a “thank you” for your efforts, or avoiding upsetting someone. But here’s the catch: people pleasing isn’t as harmless as it seems. It’s often rooted in fear—fear of rejection, conflict, or simply not being liked. While being considerate is one thing, putting others first all the time can leave you feeling drained, unheard, and resentful.
The Benefits of Depth and Insight-Oriented Therapy: Embracing Self-Discovery and Growth
Depth and insight-oriented therapy offers a powerful pathway to self-discovery, enabling clients to delve into the layers of their experiences, beliefs, and conditioning. This approach emphasizes overcoming the influences of our past—family dynamics, cultural expectations, and early life experiences—that subtly shape our behaviors and perceptions in the present moment.
I’ll Be Happy When…
We’re conditioned to believe that happiness and satisfaction are waiting for us in some future moment when things change in our favor. What if we don’t have to wait? What if anything we long to experience is available to us right now?!
Choosing the Path of Least Resistance: Embracing Ease and Dropping the Struggle
Letting go of the struggle can feel like surrender, but it’s actually an empowered choice. It means we’re attuned to what’s right in front of us, taking the steps that feel grounded in clarity and aligned with our inner needs. It’s a way of honoring ourselves, of giving ourselves the space to breathe and feel at peace with where we are.
Interrupting the Cycle of Worrying and Spiraling
Worrying, especially when it’s repetitive and unresolved, can feel like we’re doing something productive. It feels like we’re keeping ourselves prepared, looking out for the worst, or being realistic. But here’s the truth: worry on its own doesn’t change anything. We can think through every worst-case scenario, but until we put our thoughts into action, nothing actually shifts in our world.
The Power of Intention: The Energy Behind Your Actions
Intention is the invisible force that drives our actions. It's the energy, the feeling, the motivation, and the purpose behind what we do. When we act with positive intention, we infuse our actions with positive energy. This positive energy can manifest in countless ways, such as increased motivation, improved relationships, and greater overall well-being.
Reframing Journaling Resistance: A Simple Guide to Start Today
Journaling is for anyone, it’s easy to start, and you don’t need to have any special skills to get started. If you’re feeling resistance to journaling, it’s normal, but don’t decide ahead of time that you don’t like. Give it a try! Take these reflections as gentle reminders that there’s no perfect way to journal. Whether it’s through a gratitude list, freewriting, or even doodles, a journal is a space just for you—flexible, nonjudgmental, and supportive.
Practicing Attunement and Quieting the Mind
When our minds are constantly racing, it can lead to increased stress and anxiety. Quieting the mind can help alleviate these negative emotions. Additionally, by reducing mental clutter, we can enhance our ability to focus on experiences that matter to us instead of living on autopilot. A quiet mind is also a fertile ground for creativity and connection to ourselves. When we're not constantly distracted by thoughts, we can tap into our inner wellspring of creativity.