INner Becoming Blog

Creating New Stories, on Purpose

For most of us, discouraging ourselves and believing disempowering stories about who we are and what we’re capable of comes easier than building ourselves up! We swiftly talk ourselves out of following our heart’s desires and giving ourselves a chance at something new. We give too much power to the voice that says; “What’s the point?,” “Why bother?,” “It’s gonna take too long,” “You’re too old for that,” or “That’s a stupid idea.”

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Believe You Can: Overcoming Learned Helplessness

When was the last time you decided to try something for the first time, something you’ve never done before? What is the internal narrative that follows your desire - is it supportive and encouraging, or does something in you decides you shouldn’t even try, because “what’s the point?” If you notice that discouraging voice leading the show most of the time, you might be experiencing learned helplessness.

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Tik Tok “Therapy”: Why Social Media Advice is Not Therapy

While TikTok and Instagram have opened up valuable conversations around mental health, they cannot replace the depth, structure, and safety that therapy offers. Mental health is complex, and it requires professional attention and individualized care. Relying on social media influencers for advice on issues as serious as trauma, anxiety, or depression can be dangerous and ineffective in the long run.

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Post-Traumatic Growth: Thriving from Adversity

Post-traumatic growth refers to the positive psychological changes that can occur in individuals who have experienced a traumatic event. It involves the development of new perspectives, increased appreciation for life, and a deeper sense of purpose and meaning. While not everyone who experiences trauma will experience post-traumatic growth, it's a testament to the human spirit's incredible capacity for resilience.

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Letting go of expectations & entitlement

We all have expectations and secret agendas of what we believe should be happening for us. From what we think our morning coffee should taste like (come on, burnt pot!) to how we imagine that big date going down (cue butterflies and fireworks). But here's the thing: expectations can be sneaky little buggers. Sometimes, they set us up for a major disappointment when reality doesn't quite match our perfectly crafted mental picture. We've all been there. The clash between what we expected and what actually happens can leave us feeling frustrated, defeated, self-righteous, and entitled.

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Wanting what you have

Gap theory of happiness posits that our unhappiness stems from the discrepancy between our current reality and our idealized version of life. We're always looking outward, focusing on what we don't have: better jobs, more money, more recognition, or simply more free time. When our lives are consumed by this constant pursuit of "what could be," we operate from a place of lack and dissatisfaction.

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is it me or is it my circumstances?!

When it comes to navigating life's challenges, our perspective plays a crucial role in how we experience and respond to them. One key aspect of this perspective is our locus of control – the extent to which we believe we have control over our own outcomes. This concept can be divided into two primary categories: internal and external locus of control.

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What is my purpose & How do I find it?

Have you ever heard someone say, "Go live your purpose" and wondered, "What is my purpose?" Perhaps you are multi-passionate and have a wide range of interests and “finding” your purpose doesn’t seem like a clear and straight forward task. The concept of purpose can be elusive, ambiguous, and ever-shifting.

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5 Mistakes to avoid When Creating New Habits

Creating new habits and shifting old ones can be challenging, but it's definitely achievable with the right approach and mindset. Unfortunately, many people make common mistakes that hinder their progress. Here are five of the most frequent missteps and what to do instead.

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The Self-Improvement trap: When Working on Yourself Isn't Working

Have you ever felt like you're stuck in a never-ending self-improvement cycle, but instead of feeling more at peace with who you are, you keep finding new deficiencies to “work on” and end up feeling worse about yourself?

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Connect with Your Higher Self: A Journaling and Visualization Exercise for Clarity

Connecting with your higher self helps you tap into your intuition, bypassing the noise of self-doubt or external pressures. It’s a powerful reminder that the wisdom you seek is already within you—you just need to pause and listen. Whether you’re wrestling with a tough decision, a personal conflict, or a sense of uncertainty, tapping into your higher self can offer a guiding light.

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The Difference Between Anxiety And Intuition

One of the questions that frequently arises in therapy is: “How can I know the difference between intuition and anxiety?” Although all of us are born with our very own internal compass, many of us grew up discouraged to trust our natural curiosity and gut feelings. We learned we needed to act in ways that give us approval and are considered “appropriate,” even when it meant overriding what felt right to us. Over time, we may start relying on our intellect to figure things out or we may start looking at others for guidance, believing that they have our answers. Because of this, distinguishing between intuition and anxiety might be challenging at first, but like anything else, with practice, this becomes easier and more intuitive.

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Overcoming Imposter Syndrome & self-doubt

Feeling like you’re faking your way through a new role and constantly hearing that nagging voice that makes you want to hide? Many of us have found ourself in those self-doubting moments when we question our abilities and achievements. But no matter how big the insecurity is, you can be bigger than it. You don’t have to let the self-doubt swallow you and stop you from engaging in significant, sometimes scary, life-expanding expanding experiences.

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Creating a new beginning in the open field of possibilities

I love to think about the sheer openness of each new day. It's like waking up to a blank canvas, a fresh start, a field of endless possibilities. We have the power to plant whatever we want in this fertile ground. It doesn't matter what we planted yesterday or last year; we can start anew today.

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Self-Compassion: The Key to Self-Forgiveness, Healing, and Change

Self-compassion can be a difficult but crucial step toward becoming more embodied in our adult selves and overcoming influences of our childhoods. When we hold onto feelings of guilt and shame, on perceived past mistakes, or regret, we can become trapped in a cycle of negative emotions and beliefs that affect our relationships, self-esteem, and overall well-being.

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Understanding Therapy Progress: Signs of Positive Change

Sometimes, the most significant progress occurs when things become a little more quiet, less chaotic, and easier to handle. It's noticed in the way we approach new challenges with more resilience and the way we relate to ordinary, everyday experiences with greater ease.

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Difficulty is optional

Have you had that experience of things going your way, but then a pesky thought sneaks in and offers a depressing take: "It can't be that easy" or "You're probably not doing it right" or "You must be missing something?" 

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Making space for the good

​Make yourself available for what feels good.
 
You can’t clutter your days with things that suffocate your peace and expect to feel good. 
 
If you want wholesome, energizing, or peaceful experiences, you have to invite them by making space for them.

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In Between

I love change!

I thrive in the forward movement, in the going towards something, anticipating, in being challenged (to the optimal degree:)). But life is not always about moving towards something specific that we made up in our minds.

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How to Climb a Mountain

Each one of us is contending with a challenge de jour, our own mountains if you will. And each one of us is uniquely equipped with resources needed to make that climb. Even though most of us at some point experienced the sense that "we're doing it wrong" or that "we're behind," there really is no right way, or the right timing to climb a mountain. 

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